First dates can be both exhilarating and scary. Even if you’ve spent a lot of time going back and forth with someone through your phone or online, you can never truly tell who that person is. This is why you will need to keep your eyes open for red flags from the minute you see them. There are some subtle and sometimes not so subtle signs that someone might be a timewaster, has ulterior motives, or worse. Let’s take a look at some of the signs that your date is shady.
They’re Late
Everyone can be late for a date and we’re sure you’ve probably been late to a few dates or events before. However, if your date gets there 30 minutes late and didn’t even bother to notify you, this is a red flag. It’s even worse if they try to brush it off and act like you’re making a big fuss about it. Do not waste time with people who don’t respect yours.
They Have a Shady History
This might come off as excessive, but you should consider running a background check on anyone you choose to meet in person. This is your safety we’re talking about, and you’re completely in your right to run one as long as you use publicly available information.
There are plenty of sites that allow you to find out if someone has prior convictions or court appearances. Some of them let you find obscure social media profiles they may have forgotten about. This could give you a chance to find out things you didn’t know about them, whether it’s good or bad.
If you’re looking for a reliable online background check service, check out this review of the top 10 background check services. You’ll learn exactly what each service does, how much you can expect to pay, and some of the pros and cons of each. You’ll also find out how large of a scope each service has and how much information you can expect to get.
They Constantly Have to Go Outside to Take Calls
If your date has one important phone call to take and needs to speak confidentially, that’s fine. But if they simply cannot have a phone conversation in front of you, this is a major red flag. Another red flag to watch out for is if they’re eerily protective of their phone. This is a clear sign that they might be trying to hide something, so pay special attention to this and consider cutting them off unless they can give you a good explanation.
They’re Horrible to Service People
The way someone treats service people says a lot about a person’s personality. If they’re a monster to everyone around you but act nice to you, expect to get the same treatment if they don’t get their way. Pay special attention to how they speak with valets, wait staff, and others.
Check how to react to minor inconveniences. If they constantly complain about everything or make a scene because they got the wrong entree, then it’s another bad sign to look out for. People who overreact to small things are often prone to anger, and this is not someone you want in your life.
It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault
Speaking about past relationships during first dates can be a great way to get a better idea of who’s standing in front of you. The way they treat previous relationships will be an indicator of what you can expect if you get in a relationship with them.
If they seem bitter about their previous relationships and act like the other person was to blame for everything, then it’s a red flag. Likewise, if they constantly blame their boss for things that go wrong at work or family members for troubles in their family, then this is another sign of someone you should avoid. If they blame everyone, you can expect them to turn the blame on you whenever something bad happens.
They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
Someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries is one to avoid, whether your boundaries are physical or personal. It’s OK for dates to ask a few questions about people you’ve dated in the past, but if they go too far, you have to let them know you are not comfortable.
If they continue asking probing questions about your personal life or sexual practices, beware. Also, be careful with anyone who gets too touchy-feely too soon. If they try to get too close to you or constantly keep touching you without your permission, call a cab immediately and go home.
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