There Is A “Type” And A “Psychology” To A Handshake – What Type Are You?

The last Thursday of each June, people across the nation observe National Handshake Day.

Of all the various forms of greeting, the handshake is perhaps one of the most ancient.

The origin of the handshake is hard to pinpoint. As it is a non-verbal mode of communication, it may have existed before written records. Theories suggest it was a way for medieval knights, Roman soldiers and other weapon carrying men to check for hidden daggers by grasping each other’s forearms in greeting.

Archaeological ruins in ancient Greece support this theory. The funerary stele depicts two soldiers shaking hands and dates back to 5th century BC.

An even older record in Egypt suggests the handshake held a different sort of power, the power of giving. According to Babylonian custom, kings would grasp the hand of the statue of the god Marduk before taking the throne. This act was repeated annually during the festival of Zagmuk to carry his power over into the next year. Even conquering Assyria continued the tradition.

As during ancient times, modern-day handshakes have different customs around the world. Women didn’t usually didn’t carry weapons, and therefore didn’t shake hands as a form of greeting. In the United States, Russia, Australia, Brazil and the United Kingdom handshakes tend to be firm, but even those with firm greetings have lingering differences.  However, in most Asian countries such as China, Japan, and South Korea the grip is light, and there should be no direct eye contact. However, in the Philippines make the eye contact while keeping the hold light.

Then there are the secret handshakes, those elaborate greetings signaling membership in a group, club or society. One of the more famous societies known to use secret handshakes is Freemasons.

The psychology of handshakes, according to Psychology Today:

1. Aim for a moderate firmness. This is scientifically referred to as in between bone crusher and limp noodle. Ok, so I made that one up–but think about it: the best handshakes are the ones that leave an impression without breaking bones. Think firm but gentle. Practice on a piece of fruit if you have to. You shouldn’t be mashing or breaking the skin on a ripe plum, but your shake should have a firm enough grip that the fruit can’t be knocked out.
2. Palms sideways. Don’t go for the underhand (beggars pose) or overhand (dominating) approach to handshakes. By putting your hand in sideways, palm in, this shows that you and your shaking buddy are on equal ground. Even though one of you may have the figurative upper hand, don’t sell yourself short by giving them the literal one. Display confidence without arrogance!
3. No sweat. If you are a sweaty one, go to your interview prepared. No one wants to have some strangers sweat on them (ewww), so if you tend to drippy drip, make sure you have a napkin or tissue tucked away somewhere. Be sure to pat your hands as close to shakin’ time as possible so that you don’t gross out the hiring manager. Trust me–this is NOT the way to land your dream job! (Heavy sweaters should check out the TODAY clipfor a hot (ha!) tip on how to handle those sweaty palms.)
4. Handshake Bookends. Sure, you might start your interview with a firm, well-handled handshake. One huge mistake job applicants make is letting that moxie fall with their goodbye handshake! If your hello handshake rocks the house (think greeting an A-list actor or the President), but your good-bye handshake falls flat or never happens, what kind of impression does that leave? First impressions are important, but so are departing ones. Be sure to close your meeting with a firm, confident shake. Make your good-bye stand out–you will be remembered for it!

The types of handshakes, according to Forbes:

1. The Limp Noodle: If your handshake can be mistaken as a light grace, you might be exposing a weak inner-being. In fact, many employers and business associates will see this as a sign that you lack confidence and ability in what you do. If you’re trying to be “gentle” with a female colleague, think again. Female professionals will appreciate and respect you for treating them just as you would a male counterpart.
2. The Bone Crusher: On the opposite end of the spectrum, don’t go in for the handshake with too much power up your sleeve. People will instantly wonder what you’re trying to overcompensate for and likely dismiss you immediately.
3. The Fancy Fool: While it’s become a trend to make the handshake “hip” by getting creative and trying new things (like the fist bump), this shows signs of immaturity and a complete lack of awareness. Save this one for your frat brothers and family only.
4. The Lingerer: You’ve reached out with a good, firm grip, but forgot to let go. By lingering and holding on too long, you’re telling the other party that you’re desperate. Live by the “two second rule” and let go before it’s too late.
5. The Rusher: How does it make you feel when you speak to someone and they completely brush you off? That is very comparable to an abruptly short handshake. It is not only rude, but will evoke the sense that you don’t care and do not have time for this person.
6. The Look Away:  A good handshake doesn’t stop with the hand, make sure you’re making eye contact and smiling. If you are someone who lacks in this area, you may be revealing a sense of insecurity, shyness and suspiciousness to future friends or employers.
7. The Perfect Handshake: Finally, the right way to shake someone’s hand. Remember to:

• Keep good posture
• Make eye contact
• Hold your right hand out
• Give a good firm shake
• Follow the two second rule
• Smile!
• Greet the other person and repeat their name

Sources:

National Day Calendar

Forbes

Psychology Today