By Sadie Gurman
LANGLEY, Va.—Looking for the holiday gift that screams Beltway insider?
Skip the chintzy T-shirt vendors on the National Mall and head straight to the CIA. Just be ready to provide your social security number and leave enough time to clear multiple layers of security. And bring cash. The agency advises against using traceable forms of payment like credit cards, particularly for customers who do undercover work.
Inside the gift shop at the George Bush Center for Intelligence, customers can pick from an assortment of intelligence-themed merchandise, like “Top Secret” barbecue sauce, “Don’t Spill The Beans” coffee, CIA pillows and a $200 humidor etched with the agency’s iconic seal.
“There’s something for every taste,” said the shop’s executive director Mark Wiggins as he strolled through the store, where a set of shot glasses emblazoned with “Admit Nothing. Deny Everything” sells for $33.99. It isn’t impossible to visit, but it is difficult: You either need to be a CIA employee or know one. Wiggins calls his operation “the best museum store you’ve never seen, because you can’t get in here.”
CIA, US STATE DEPT
Federal buildings hide what may be the world’s most exclusive gift shops. Looking for a personalized “Most Wanted” placard? The FBI store has that. Lose your pen? Replace it with one shaped like rifle rounds sold at the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. You can buy china at the Transportation Department, bathrobes at the State Department and playing cards at the Justice Department.
The Agriculture Department gift shop had sold out of its popular stress-relief toys shaped like pigs, cows and tractors during a 20% off Christmas sale last week. And while the oven mitts were still available, a customer had just purchased the last apron emblazoned with the USDA Prime beef shield.
“The last person bought it right off the wall,” said Patricia Joyner, who manages the store nestled deep inside the department’s century-old building that covers two city blocks and has 7 miles’ worth of hallways. (A second, bigger store is set to open later.) “I did a $1,000 day yesterday, and an $800 day the day before,” she said.
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